Names across the globe

The harshness of the German ‘kh’ to the s , z, v and the tsch combination sounding as zippy as any Bavarian Mercedes. The half pronounced French R-as smooth as any Burgundy wine, and the zha sounding J is worth a premium sparkling water bottled in the Champagne district around Magny-Cours. From the lyrical Italian names and the in-note way of pronouncing them to the Eastern European names, mass produced in a communist factory. The custom made Origami and Ikebana names from Japan, and the barely syllabic Chinese ones. A list of ‘Mc‘s from Scotland, to a whole bunch of one worded Portuguese and Brazilian names sounding like titles of video games you have played through the ages. The flamboyance of the Arabic names to the incessant nature of their Greek counterparts, and the Israeli ones sounding like Biblical concoctions of the two.

Names across the globe have continued to fascinate us, with each region having their own enchanting peculiarity. Unpronounceable and incomprehensible at first, they turn into cultural icons of their region having elements of the lingual heritage, transitions and the history of the region. Celebrities choosing avant-garde names play no spoilers to this.

Following is a compilation of stereotype names from across the Globe:

INDIA: Indian names easily recognisable across the west can be broadly identified as North Indian Hindu names, Gujarati names and South Indian names. The North Indian ones include a parade of Shahrukh Khan screen names like Raj, Rajesh, Rohit, Rahul, Ram and surnames like Sharma, Singh and Kumar. The Gujarati names are quite popular in the west thanks to the amazingly strong and successful Gujju population in the UK and the US. The most famous of the lot would definitely be Patel, with Jignesh, Jitesh and other Junahgarhi names making up the list. The south Indian names would be mono-syllabic Tamil-Telugu blends(as seen in the Simpsons) made famous probably by the number of South Indian IT professionals working in the US lately.

THE ISLAMIC WORLD(ARABIC/URDU): Not wanting to propagate any stereotypes, three worded Muslim names are extremely recongnisable. The constituents being Abdullah, Habib(and its derivatives), Mohammed, al/ul/bin, Zaheer, Saeed(and its derivatives). Other names would be heavily weighted with a presence of letters like Q, F and Z.

HISPANIC(SPAIN AND OTHER SPANISH SPEAKING REGIONS): Spanish versions of Biblican names are the most famous ones. Mary turning into Maria on the foothills of Tibidabo is probably the most easily recognisable female name. Charles translating itself into Carlos is probably the most easily recognisable male name. Others include Antonio, Angelo, Raul, Fernando, Sergio, Rafael(derived from Ralph), Elena, Lopez, Garcia. As quite evident from Woody Allen’s Vicky, Christina, Barcelona, Spanish names are also taken together in couples. A girl may be called Maria Elena even when being referred to informally.

ITALIAN: The essence of an Italian name lies in the way it is pronounced. They somehow end up sounding like Pizza toppings. Each one of them. You know what I am talking about if you know how an Italian would read Giuseppe or a Giovanni. Mario and Luigi(nothing to do with the Nintendo game!!!) are stereotype Italian names. They somehow manage to end most of their names with either an i or an o. Usage of del and di in between names is also common. Surnames from the Italian football players would be a testimony to this fact (Toni, del Piero, Cameronesi, Cannavaro, Baggio). Fans of the Godfather movie series, Tarantino, and Tribbiani from Friends would know about this. Commonly used first names include Alessandro, Florentino, Mauro, Luca, Angelo. Female names include Alessandra(Sandra), Aurora, Tina, Angelica, Bianca, Paula, Donatella, Cristina, Gina, Francesca, Florentina.

FRENCH: If Italian names sound like Pizza toppings, French names are the delicate main courses, proper knife and fork to be used for each part of the meal. A correctly pronounced Jacques or a Jean combined with a middle name like Pierre or Claude would guarantee you not going home alone from a pub! And for the belles and the mademoiselles out there, Anne, Emmanuelle, Amelie, Gigi, Madeline, Cecile, Fabienne, Danielle, Jeanne, Jeannette, Penelope, Adelaid, Fleur, Giselle, Jacquelinne, Roxane, Aurelie, Victoire, Charlotte, Sylvie, Avril, Sabine, Claudia, Estee, Julie, Adrienne… I could just go on and on mentioning one female French name after another. Dennis, Raymond, Robert, Louis, Bixente, Marcel, Gael, Emmanuel, Thierry, Gregory, Christophe are some classy male names. Surnames like Menochet, st. Claire, Laurent, Antoine, Papin, Cocteau, Michelin, de la Croix, Richard are heard of across the nation. Please note that these names are not to be pronounced as they are used in English, there is a delicate French pronunciation for each of them.

GERMAN: If the French names put a strain on your jaw and tongue, the German ones will do the same to your throat and epiglottis. A good old Oliver/Oliviera, a Hans or a Wilhelm are common to Germans, but really sets them apart are the surnames. Einstein, Weinstein, Hitzlsperger, Spielberg, Scheunemann, Snodgrass, Heinemann, Olshausen, Schumacher, Schweinsteinger, Schoneberg, Kohlschreiber , and then there are those teeny-tiny four-five-six lettered ones like Woltz, Strutz, Schultz, Mentz, Brandt, Lahm, Haas, Lindt, Scheibe. German names come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Here is the next category. Groepler, Klausing, Weinberger, Lindner, Prudohl.

EAST EUROPEAN(RUSSIA, CIS, SLAVIC STATES, AND THOSE PERPETUALLY IN CIVIL WAR!!!): A host full of names must make up for a large percentage in this region. Names like Igor, Sergei, Vladimir, Aleksandr, Dmitri, Anastasia, Helga, Ida, Olga, Lev, Nikita, Mikhail, Russians use evic, in, ov as suffixes to show a patriarchal relation for a male and use evica, ina, ova etc. for females. Tatiana, Marcja, Berta, Adelajda, Karolina, Petra, Veronika, Laura, Linda, Katarina, Marta, Zofia, Oleysa are common East European female names. Cyrill, Eniko, Nemanja, Jozsef, Ivan, Dominik, Filip, Henrik, Vladko, Aron and Rudolf are common East European Names. What sets the surnames apart is the usage of a g, j, y, k, v in succession so as to create a short mental tremor in an attempt at pronouncing them.

DUTCH: Dutch names sound as if people in the Orange Area have had really bad English teachers. Most of their names look like misspelled English names. Willem, Mathias, Persie, Nikolaas, Nikolaes, Margaretha, Pheabea, Sophiia and Hendrika are examples of this. Others include Arjen, Joost,Pieter, Christiann, Jansen, Roosevelt, Dirk, Griet/Grieta, Klass, Adriaan, Jan, Merel, and Skyler. Stereotyped Dutch surnames have to contain van or better still van der. Take a look at the names of pop-culture Dutch names and you’ll get the picture. van Persie, van Basten, van Dyke, van Buren, van Bommel, van der Waals, van Bunge, van Helsing, van Nistelrooy, van Rompuy, van der Vaart, need to say anything more?

GREEK: Things back in Greece haven’t changed that much, they are still pretty much the same. You get a feeling that people are still christened and named in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, with Oracle still presiding over them. Christianos, Christos, Agatha/Agathios, Demetrios, Nikolas, Giorgios, Althea, Hektor, Morpheus, Paris, Amos, Eusabios, Ioseph, Markos, Angelos, Hellen, Archimedes, Homer, Stelios look straight out of a Greek mythology book. The surnames aren’t much better in this department. You’ve got Kyrgiakos, Nikopolidis, Stephanapolous, Giorgios, Charasteas, Anastakis(Jennifer Aniston’s Greek origin surname) up the list.

JAPANESE: This is really cool. You could have your surname as Honda, Suzuki or Yamaha! Well the others aren’t that hip, but they are fun surnames to have for a day or two to show off at a party. Yamaguchi, Nagasaki, Nakamura, Inamoto, Matsuzaka, Yamoto. You get the idea. A blend of Anglo-Russo-Oriental names.

ENGLISH: James(Jim), Daniel(Dan), Michael(Mike), William(Bill), John, Charles(Charlie), Richard(Dick), Robert(Bob), Benjamin, Bryan, Elizabeth(Beth, Bessie, Lizzie, Lisa, Liz, Eli, Alice, Eliza), Christina, Jude, Betty, Margaret, Victoria, Ashley, Britney are good old classic British names, and the surnames are the usual lot as well. You know them, Jones, Smith, Michaels, Black, named after 18th century professions(Cooper, Tanner, Harper etc.), Wilson et cetera, et cetera.